The Royal Wedding Fairytale

Apr 29, 2011 by

When we first discussed the idea of an All the Single Girlfriends post regarding the upcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton not surprisingly there was a diversity of opinions amongst the Girlfriends regarding the Royal to-do ranging from yawns to disgust, and everything in between. This is not all that different from the rest of the planet except that in my observation of  the media coverage of the event, the Official Royal version appears to be speaking the loudest. According to a recent New York Times/CBS News poll just 28% of Americans are under the Royal Wedding spell but as Kathryn Shattuck notes in the New York Times, the other 72% of us might plan on Netflix streaming for home entertainment on April 29th. ABC News (yes, ABS News) is apparently not only...

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Royal Weddings: The Agony And The Ecstasy...

Apr 29, 2011 by

Royal weddings can be for the single woman what Christmas tends to be for everyone: The agony and the ecstasy. The magic is being played out on the small screen of a young golden couple who found each other, adjusted to each other, and made it to the day when they would commit themselves to each other for life.  We watch and wonder how come we couldn’t pull that off. We couldn’t even manage the feat with a commoner. Of course the old chip on the shoulder returns that we weren’t born to the noble class.  Had I been, heck, I could have had a shot at my special day being gawked at by millions around the world.  The times I had been engaged, relatives on both sides would have had to have a...

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Kate In The Royal Spot Light

Apr 29, 2011 by

There has been more than the fair share of chatter about the impending nuptials of the young prince William and his fair Kate. Not just simply because of the fact that it is a ‘royal’ wedding, but because he is marrying a commoner, Kate Middleton. Remember the tales of a young Diana, born into an old aristocratic English family with royal ancestry, she was so far from common, the mere sight of her through throngs of crowds into an uproar. She was scrutinized before, during, and after her marriage to Charles – their marriage ended in August 1996. She struggled with her weight, postpartum depression, bulimia, the deaths of dear friends like Gianni Versace, and raising her children in a very almost blinding public spotlight. Her wedding was merely televised. And at a time...

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Is Marriage Passe’ ?

Apr 21, 2011 by

“When are you guys finally getting married?” That’s a favorite opening line for family and friends, lately. Tom, my significant other, and I have been together a long time now. We became engaged shortly after meeting – both of us were very sure of the relationship and having the ‘ring’ to prove we were serious, just seemed natural. Over time, folks began to give us that squinty-eyed look that said they were suspicious of this living together thing – without the benefit of ‘marriage’ (you know who you are!) The squintiest looks (no, that’s not a word, I made it up) come from folks over 50. They’re of a certain age, they grew up in the previous century and are sure that living together isn’t merely sinful, it’s wrong. Sinful, you understand, is more...

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Living a Dangerous Life

Apr 20, 2011 by

Everyone knows it’s dangerous to, say, ride a motorcycle or eat saturated fat, but somehow we miss the inherent danger of being alive. My husband died of acute leukemia.  In June of 2008, we were living ordinary lives.  In July, I took Dave to the doctor for what we thought was diverticulitis, common to 45 year old men and easy to cure.  In August, he was trapped in the hospital on chemotherapy and by the end of September, he was gone.  The whole hospital episode, from diagnosis to death, took six weeks. Is it any wonder it seems to me that we barely control anything in our lives?  Trouble will find you, even if you’re perfectly still.  What kind of world is this?  The raw truth is that it’s a world where the person...

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Cotton Candy and Circus Peanuts...

Apr 11, 2011 by

Over the years I have dated a bit and learned some valuable things about men that I sometimes feel compelled to share with other women who may not have connected the dots about certain man-things. I also occasionally share these pearls of wisdom with men so that they might be able to recognize certain aspects of their own personalities and adjust.  They rarely adjust, but it makes me feel better to think that I tried. One of the things that I’ve learned about men is that if they are awake, they feel their significant other should also be awake.  If they are sleeping, their significant other should also be sleeping. I don’t normally like to generalize, but I don’t feel that this is a generalization.  It’s a fact.  Something I have concluded after many...

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Home Alone With Ice Cream

Apr 7, 2011 by

It’s Friday night and I am home alone, angry at the sink.  This is ridiculous, of course, but I feel as if I have been doing dishes all the livelong day and couldn’t the sink please split itself into equal halves so that I can wash this very large pan in the section with the disposal.  It stubbornly refuses and I mumble curses at it. I’m not really angry at the sink.  I’m feeling sorry for myself.  All I need now is a pint of ice cream to eat directly from the container. I text a girlfriend who has invited me out, “I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself, it’s the dating thing again”.  “OMG, me too!!”, she texts back.  I like that about this friend.  She is like me.  We are surrounded by...

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Do Love Triangles Really Exist?...

Apr 5, 2011 by

I spent the weekend watching videos of Princess Diana and Prince Charles.  For my trouble, I ended up with a monstrous migraine. Their story reminded me once again that people love for reasons that have nothing to do with beauty, glamour, power or success.  The world may perceive you as the ugliest duckling ever.  Yet, in the eyes of the right man, you are beautiful and fascinating beyond belief.  By the same token, you can be Miss Universe and Albert Einstein rolled into one but, with the wrong man, you’re just another annoying chit. More than that, though, their story reminded me of how judgmental we can be of others and of issues that we know nothing about. Maybe I’m naïve but I don’t think anyone sets out to be a cheating husband, scorned...

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A Soul in Cat’s Clothing

Mar 24, 2011 by

Spot the Cat is not doing well.  Spot is one of three cats who made the journey across the country with me after my husband died.  I call our little family “Bonnie and the Traveling Cats” because we all had to go.  We all had to change. Did you know cats can get heart disease?  Spot has it and it makes his little chest fill up with fluid.  He can’t breathe well.  I watch him try to carry on his normal feline activities while his chest heaves, trying to bring in enough air.  He is uncomfortable.  I can take him to the veterinary internal medicine specialist to have the fluid drained, but it scares him half to death and his chest fills right back up.  He is not getting better. How do I know...

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For Couples Only

Mar 21, 2011 by

Disease is not an easy subject for people to chat about. Actually they avoid it at all costs. I always thought that after everything I had been through, I could always count on my girlfriends to lift me up when I was down. Not so, I learned that disease is kind of like divorce it separates you from certain folks. You know how divorce or a break-up causes groups of friends to feel an allegiance to the husband, wife or partner? Well guess what? Sometimes it happens when you lose someone due to death. Here I was feeling my absolute loneliest, eating poorly, and doing everything I could to be strong. I began to see a bereavement counselor to talk to someone – no one would talk to me about it. I blamed myself...

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Two Widows .. Now Equals

Mar 14, 2011 by

I sat by the stack of RSVP’s for the wedding in June that would not take place. I stared at them a good long while before I picked them up and brought them over to the couch and began to alphabetize them. Normally I am not this anal retentive but, I thought it’d be easier to find their phone numbers and email addresses in my address book. Slowly but surely I was done. Each card had a corresponding number or email address so I could begin contacting the folks who were kind enough to have responded early to the Save The Date and wedding invitations in the morning. Surprisingly a good number of them were from friends that lived out of town. I crashed on the couch embraced by the scent of him. I...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 2...

Mar 10, 2011 by

Let’s be real. Dating at 40+ is different, and the same time, it’s pretty much as it was when we were in our 20’s. The difference now is that we (and he)  just might have a better idea of what we want .. or not. If you missed Part 1 (#1 It’s not all their fault and #2 Get happy with your life and with yourself) check it out and come back. 3.  GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW. Stop thinking about what it’s going to be like when you meet his bratty seven-year-old.   Don’t think long-term or long haul—because if you haven’t got to the first drink, you certainly aren’t going to meet the kid.  Take a step back from all those anxiety-causing thoughts of how miserable you might...

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