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Dating Archives - All The Single Girlfriends

Five Reasons I Don’t Date

Apr 25, 2011 by

Five Reasons I Don’t Date

(No, Not Because There Aren’t Any Men) Sure, as I get older, the available pool of men gets smaller.  But, even if they’re available – would I want them?  Would they want me?  By this time, we’ve all got lives and baggage; it’s difficult to make a space for someone else.  Many men wouldn’t be interested in me, for reasons you can infer from the following five reasons I don’t date. 1.  That Deadly “Story Of My Life” First Date.  Hey, I love me; I’m my very favorite person.  I can navel gaze with the best of ‘em.  But after – oh – 25 years or so I’m sick of talking about my hometown, what my parents did, where I went to college, my favorite authors, my hobbies, etc. etc.  Why not just hand him a...

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Flea Markets Are Like Dating, or Maybe Not...

Apr 14, 2011 by

Flea Markets Are Like Dating, or Maybe Not

I enjoy flea markets. I love fleaing.  Ur, no, no – not fleeing. We’re not talking about dating when you’re 50+ today.  Or, maybe we are.  The quality rankings of fleaing could apply to dating.  But then we humans can make pretty much anything (Hey! Quantum physics!) apply to our mating rituals.  But I digress.  ANYHOO… I can spend hours and hours marveling that someone somewhere actually bought the turquoise/burnt orange/rusted/broken gizmoy thingie in the first place.  What the hell is it anyway; good lord is that really three zeros on the price tag!? WHAT is the dealer smoking? Now, that I’d buy – must be really good shit, man. For those of you who may be new to the fine art of fleaing, here are some basics: Fundamental law that applies to all...

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Cotton Candy and Circus Peanuts...

Apr 11, 2011 by

Cotton Candy and Circus Peanuts

Over the years I have dated a bit and learned some valuable things about men that I sometimes feel compelled to share with other women who may not have connected the dots about certain man-things. I also occasionally share these pearls of wisdom with men so that they might be able to recognize certain aspects of their own personalities and adjust.  They rarely adjust, but it makes me feel better to think that I tried. One of the things that I’ve learned about men is that if they are awake, they feel their significant other should also be awake.  If they are sleeping, their significant other should also be sleeping. I don’t normally like to generalize, but I don’t feel that this is a generalization.  It’s a fact.  Something I have concluded after many...

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Home Alone With Ice Cream

Apr 7, 2011 by

Home Alone With Ice Cream

It’s Friday night and I am home alone, angry at the sink.  This is ridiculous, of course, but I feel as if I have been doing dishes all the livelong day and couldn’t the sink please split itself into equal halves so that I can wash this very large pan in the section with the disposal.  It stubbornly refuses and I mumble curses at it. I’m not really angry at the sink.  I’m feeling sorry for myself.  All I need now is a pint of ice cream to eat directly from the container. I text a girlfriend who has invited me out, “I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself, it’s the dating thing again”.  “OMG, me too!!”, she texts back.  I like that about this friend.  She is like me.  We are surrounded by...

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Do Love Triangles Really Exist?...

Apr 5, 2011 by

Do Love Triangles Really Exist?

I spent the weekend watching videos of Princess Diana and Prince Charles.  For my trouble, I ended up with a monstrous migraine. Their story reminded me once again that people love for reasons that have nothing to do with beauty, glamour, power or success.  The world may perceive you as the ugliest duckling ever.  Yet, in the eyes of the right man, you are beautiful and fascinating beyond belief.  By the same token, you can be Miss Universe and Albert Einstein rolled into one but, with the wrong man, you’re just another annoying chit. More than that, though, their story reminded me of how judgmental we can be of others and of issues that we know nothing about. Maybe I’m naïve but I don’t think anyone sets out to be a cheating husband, scorned...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 2...

Mar 10, 2011 by

Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 2

Let’s be real. Dating at 40+ is different, and the same time, it’s pretty much as it was when we were in our 20’s. The difference now is that we (and he)  just might have a better idea of what we want .. or not. If you missed Part 1 (#1 It’s not all their fault and #2 Get happy with your life and with yourself) check it out and come back. 3.  GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW. Stop thinking about what it’s going to be like when you meet his bratty seven-year-old.   Don’t think long-term or long haul—because if you haven’t got to the first drink, you certainly aren’t going to meet the kid.  Take a step back from all those anxiety-causing thoughts of how miserable you might...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 1...

Mar 3, 2011 by

Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 1

By the time we’re 40, we’ve gone out on a few dates for sure.  Maybe even in the double digits.  Sometimes we’ve come back to dating after a divorce or the end of a live-in relationship, or even an affair. By the time we’re 40-something/middle-aged/andthensome, we’ve probably read a lot of dating advice books, too. We’ve probably  read “The Rules,”  “He’s Just Not that Into You,” and the “Mars and Venus” series, hoping one of these books has the answers to why we just aren’t slick enough to fathom the male mind, sexy enough to entice the male body, and “perfect” enough to hang on to Mr. Perfect. Thing is, he’s not perfect, and you’re not perfect either, sister. Not to mention the all important, and simple reality that what we might want in...

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Ohhh … So THAT’S Why (I’m Not Married)...

Mar 2, 2011 by

Ohhh … So THAT’S Why (I’m Not Married)

If you are like me, you have some friends who you intangibly just sense will not get married, at least any decade soon. You can sit around a table at lunch and know that wherever they are in the dating cycle, be it flirting, passion or boredom, it’s almost mute to talk about because they will be back around again. And again. I’m also in this “mortally single” class of woman myself. From observation I have deduced that this plight is not founded on looks or physical type. It is not geographical location. It is not even a specific career or education, though most mortally single women I know are smarter than the average bear. I have never been able to really put it into words very well, but read two blog articles today...

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Visualize The Bell Curve: Single Girlfriend Style...

Feb 23, 2011 by

Visualize The Bell Curve: Single Girlfriend Style

That’s how I start my spiel about my single status.  It qualifies as a kind of default statement until another theory replaces it. But it has worked as an explanation for some years and I share it with you in the hopes it provides an explanation as opposed to an excuse for your unpaired situation. And before I go farther, I have to admit I am math phobic, so any corrections based on real math will be appreciated but useless.  It’s the idea here, not the details, that matters. Here we go: Visualize the Bell Curve (also known as standard distribution).  You remember it, two tiny ‘tails’ on each side with the big bump in the middle. The big bump represents 95% out of the 100% whole. That leaves 2 ½ % on each...

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Three’s A Charm …

Feb 19, 2011 by

Three’s A Charm …

This was an unprecedented Valentine’s Day for me:  I received flowers from three men.  None was a husband, son, or father…. “Geeze, this place looks like a florists!”  my friend Jay joked when he noticed two bouquets of red roses in my living room and the pink tulips he gave me in the bedroom. Had you told me, when I was 20, that this would happen to me at 50, I would have thought you were nuts.  Back then, I believed I was too ugly for even one guy, let alone three. Thing is, that wasn’t the case then nor now.  Sure, I’m not what mainstream media would consider the kind of woman who merits this much attention.  I’m no Demi Moore, that’s for sure.  (I could never afford that much plastic surgery.) Real...

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Home Alone On A Saturday Night

Feb 18, 2011 by

Home Alone On A Saturday Night

I’ve been officially single since 1974. Separate from several ‘long-term’ relationships never lasting longer than 5 years, and only one that included a live-in partner for less than a year, I have managed my life as a single woman with serious attention to the elements that make it work. ‘Variety in Balance’ is a mantra of sorts for me. My astrologer friend gives her equivalent of a “Duh” nod, knowing that my Libra Sun Sign, my Enneagram point as a 7 and my Myers-Briggs personality type as ENFP, indicate a high need for interaction and stimulus. Thus the importance of the unspoken rule: “Always have plans for Saturday night.” Plans mean other people and leaving the house, although I also invite people to my house for dinner and an evening of good talk and maybe a...

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Unapologetically Single At 40

Feb 13, 2011 by

Unapologetically Single At 40

There was an article I read about how annoying it is to be constantly harassed as to why one is still single.  I share that annoyance.  It even gets more annoying when people point out that you’re 40 AND still single.  As if being single at 40 is some dreadful contagious disease or a crime against humanity. I do not feel the urge to get married.  Yet.  Maybe, it’s too much Oprah watching.  But there is no siren’s call that is seducing me to the state of happy matrimony. That is not to say, however, I do not dream of weddings.  I do.  In terms of a fabulous gown, an astounding cake and that exciting walk down a preferably loooong aisle.  The better to show off my gown, of course.  I’m not supermodel material...

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