Happy 2013 .. On Your Terms

Jan 1, 2013 by

As 2013 opens its door to us we stand on the threshold of seemingly unlimited possibilities. However, as  I watch the rain drops fall (and think thank goodness it’s not snowing in Atlanta!)  it seems like I’ve been given a small gift to begin the new year. With the gray clouds overhead today I don’t feel a need to go and do. There will be time to think about that  in the 364 days to come. Today is for taking a small breath, to listen to the quiet, to be satisfied with the now without the pressure of achieving goals. There will be time to think about that in the 364 days to come. Happiness comes in unexpected ways. Today it’s a rain drop. Tomorrow it might be something that drives career success or the nurturing of...

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Cats in the Gap (A Memorial Essay)...

Jul 31, 2012 by

It’s 93 degrees and the sun is relentless.  It’s hard to dig in the dry Colorado dirt, but I’ve done this before.  I know I’ll need the rubber mallet and a tent stake to pry out the rocks.  I’ll need the square shovel to shave down the sides, making room for the box, and the big shovel to carry out the loosened dirt. The sharp shovel cuts through the tree roots, and I feel every blow and break.  The roots, sheathed in red, scream a painful mess of color into the soil.  I don’t know which tree I’ve severed, lilac, elm or fir, but I know how it feels. We called Snowball the Last Cat Standing.  He lived the longest of the three and a full year from the time of the first cat’s...

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OM is in hOMe

Mar 27, 2012 by

One of the things I find missing in our fast pace lives is an inclusion of Spirit in the everyday. Now I’m not talking religion, but rather a sense of the mystical, the magical and the very breath of life. For me, one of the easiest ways to be with spirit is through a little bit of beauty. Beauty is one of those intangible elements that speaks to our spirit, uplifts our soul and makes us feel good.  When we are surrounded by beauty it is generally difficult to be negative or depressed. Yes, beauty matters! It almost always makes us want to stop, and breathe it in. Natural beauty is filled with grace and style.  And, I believe it should be an intrinsic part of every space, whether our home or workspace. What are some...

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Cracking The Code

Jan 5, 2012 by

I was thinking about what I was going to write about for my first week of 2012 article. I was going to do a fitness article but my recent great find in Louisville, Still Spinnin, this kick-ass, rocking spin studio, is closed until January 2nd. And I will be doing a skiing article about my Indiana ski adventure later in the week.  So, I decided that this article is all about gratitude, abundance and my constant strive to get things done on my timetable, but I’ve never been able to get that to work in my favor, so I’ve decided to give up the ghost on that one. There are a few things I don’t believe in. I don’t believe in regrets – we make choices and life is all about living with those choices...

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Appreciate The Process

Jan 4, 2012 by

At the end of 2010, I suffered two heavy-duty losses—the loss of a job and the loss of my Father.  Both happened around the holidays, so I went into 2011 feeling the lossess just as intensely as if they’d happened that year. However, I had one major gain that has lasted me throughout the year, and that is my weight. Oh, I completely understand that the gains came from a whole lot of comfort food.   Honestly, I don’t regret one single pound of it.  I relished every drink, every darned good meal, and every single red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting that crossed my lips and made their way to my waistline. Yet when I stare at my closet and see my wardrobe shrinking as a consequence of my expanding…..well….. About three weeks...

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The One Thing I Will Do In 2012 Come Hell or High Water!...

Jan 3, 2012 by

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. ~  Edith Lovejoy Pierce This quote from Edith Lovejoy Pierce seems particularly relevant for an online community, since of course, each new post begins with a blank page. On All The Single Girlfriends our posts wrap around the stories of our life experiences. Often they reflect our dreams, joys, hopes and sometimes our sadnesses. Our Gf authors are amazing and I wondered how they were going to fill the blank pages of their 2012 books .. what did they want to do in 2012 .. come hell or high water!   Debra Pearlman ~ Resolutions … been there, broke that.  I’d rather say that I’d focus...

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Are You Authentic … Or Lost In (Following) The Crowd?...

Dec 12, 2011 by

I love old, retro authentic “stuff.” Rusted boxes? Ancient baskets? Yep, love ‘em (in moderation, I should note). One of my favorite garage sale finds wass a circuit breaker box with a fine “patina” (read rust) – polished up beautifully.  A friend found my truly vintage (company has been defunct for decades) steel and brass file cabinet on a street corner; it polished up nicely too. A small chair my uncle made some 70-odd years ago in shop sits next to my sofa, holding books. (I remember it sitting in my grandmother’s bathroom [? Go figure] for years). My solid wood swivel desk armchair (In which I’m sitting as a I type this on my slick-lookin’ iMac) was a $12 steal at Salvation Army. I hang framed postcards next to expensive art. I collect...

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I’m Sorry. Please Forgive Me....

Oct 3, 2011 by

The Jewish High Holidays kicked off with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, on Wednesday, September 28 and continues until Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement – on October 8.  The ten day span between those two events is often called the Days of Awe. It is time when we are asked to reflect on the past year and the ways we have ‘missed the mark,’ the literal translation for the Hebrew word often translated as ‘sin.’ Part of that work is to ask for forgiveness from others for ways we might have caused distress or pain or created distance and misunderstanding. We are told that we can work out our relationship with God through prayer, with ourselves in a variety of personal ways, yet when it comes to clearing what has happened...

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House of Mourning

Jul 5, 2011 by

This is a house of mourning, even if you can’t see it among the brightly colored ceramic lizards or hear it in the laughter. I have woven mourning into every house I’ve lived in since the death of my husband in 2008.  It flickers like dappled sunlight, casting shadows with the death of each cat who was part of our home, with every new chicken in the yard or farm skill learned, with the introduction of every potential long term boyfriend. Our old life slips away like hands reluctantly unclasping.  Like the sun at the summer solstice, an era sets slowly. Sometimes, I sit outside at the most recent grave and talk to Spot.  I tell him things I never told him when he skulked around the house, catching mice and stealing Snowball’s food. ...

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I Hope Happiness IS Contagious

Jun 29, 2011 by

Friends and regular readers of my writing here and at Lipsticking know that I’m going through some major adjustments with my mother.  Fiercely independent. Unwilling to ask for help. Unwilling to accept help. Well, that explains me…but it also explains why my mom ended up where she is…in an assisted living home here in Albuquerque, with multiple major ailments. So sad. Too late. She simply can’t live alone anymore. (She’d HATE my telling you this.  She considers someone asking her where she went to high school a major invasion of privacy (!?)  More about that – generational differences and various conceptions of social interaction in another post.) All that said, Mom is doing amazingly well, adjusting to living with seven other women, in a city she never liked, in a home she didn’t choose,...

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‘C’-ing my way Forward

Jun 27, 2011 by

Forgive the pun, but I finally found a cluster concept that is helping me navigate this new landscape of retirement. They all start with the letter ‘C’.  I call it my ‘Three C’s.’ They are Contribute, Collaborate and Create. I know that if keep them in good harmony with each other, I will feel satisfied and fulfilled.( I’m choosing the metaphor of Harmony over Balance because I think it reflects the way life isn’t always that balanced, but more of a melody with harmonic elements that create the tune of the moment, day, week, phase.) I freely admit they are not earth-shattering ideas, but they mean a to me. They are about what I need to do to feel good about myself. And they relate deeply to two other C’s I discovered years ago about...

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Things I WOULDN’T Change About My Life – No Matter What!...

Jun 13, 2011 by

Last week I wrote a post about the things I would change in my life, if I could go back and be a kid again. Things like realizing I was ‘ok’ – maybe more than ‘ok’. I’d have studied more and read great literature in favor of…the stuff I was reading. I’d have realized that I truly did have my whole life ahead of me, when I was 15, and not lamented over the things I allowed to rule the day. Now, I’d like to talk about the things in my life that I would NOT change. There are a lot so I’ll just mention a few in this post. I wouldn’t change my family. We may be dysfunctional to the nth degree in many ways, but at our core we love each other....

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