On Being Laid-up for 4 Weeks…...

Feb 13, 2013 by

I recently had the pleasure of undergoing surgery on my torn Achilles tendon. The upside of the surgery is that I will be able to get back to all the things I love doing (hiking, kayaking, skiing).  The downside, I’ve had to spend the past 4 weeks either in bed or chair with my foot elevated (toes higher than nose, as they say). It all started years ago when I underwent surgery to fix a completely torn meniscus in my knee.  You’d think that would fix things, right?  Well, I was one of the 40 million who had little to no health insurance and what I did have would not cover PT unless it was post surgery.  That’s why I had the knee operated on in the first place, even through the doctor recommended...

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The Power (and Fun) of Single

Feb 27, 2012 by

Society is beginning to realize something us long-time, extremely single people have known all along. It’s fun to be single. And, I’m not talking single bars and all-night parties.  Although I do admit, I had a really, really, really  good time in my younger days. I could never run for public office. ‘nuf said. Thank GOD they didn’t have Facebook back then. Although it would have been nice to have voice mail; I might not have wasted all those hours hanging around all casual, waiting for a guy to call…(Remember? Oh, I know you did it too.  And sometimes you picked up the phone to make sure it had dial tone.)  But I digress… ANYWAY, single has become legit! We’re no longer those poor, sad people who droop home to dusty little apartments to...

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Wouldn’t You Change Anything – Really?...

Jun 6, 2011 by

It always amuses me when folks answer the “If you could change anything about your past, what would it be?” with, “Nothing. If I changed anything, I wouldn’t be me.” Really? Nothing? Absolutely nothing has happened in your past that you would change, if you could go back and make changes? Well, I’d change a lot. And, I’d expect to be the exact same person I am today, only better; sooner. How does that work? Here’s how… When I was a child I was phenomenally shy and introverted. Never mind why. I just was. If I could go back and not be shy, I would. I’d like to engage with the neighborhood kids on a one-on-one level, and not be afraid of being left out because… no one liked me. I remember one instance...

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Living a Dangerous Life

Apr 20, 2011 by

Everyone knows it’s dangerous to, say, ride a motorcycle or eat saturated fat, but somehow we miss the inherent danger of being alive. My husband died of acute leukemia.  In June of 2008, we were living ordinary lives.  In July, I took Dave to the doctor for what we thought was diverticulitis, common to 45 year old men and easy to cure.  In August, he was trapped in the hospital on chemotherapy and by the end of September, he was gone.  The whole hospital episode, from diagnosis to death, took six weeks. Is it any wonder it seems to me that we barely control anything in our lives?  Trouble will find you, even if you’re perfectly still.  What kind of world is this?  The raw truth is that it’s a world where the person...

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A Soul in Cat’s Clothing

Mar 24, 2011 by

Spot the Cat is not doing well.  Spot is one of three cats who made the journey across the country with me after my husband died.  I call our little family “Bonnie and the Traveling Cats” because we all had to go.  We all had to change. Did you know cats can get heart disease?  Spot has it and it makes his little chest fill up with fluid.  He can’t breathe well.  I watch him try to carry on his normal feline activities while his chest heaves, trying to bring in enough air.  He is uncomfortable.  I can take him to the veterinary internal medicine specialist to have the fluid drained, but it scares him half to death and his chest fills right back up.  He is not getting better. How do I know...

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You Have .. Snail Mail!

Mar 17, 2011 by

I miss receiving snail mail.  The only snail mail I get these days are my bills and that, I definitely do not miss. There was a time when the sight of an approaching postman would fill me with excitement.  Today, I am filled with dread whenever I see my postman.  He never brings anything good anymore.  Just bills, bills and more bills.  Whatever happened to the days when the arrival of a postman heralded a love letter?  Or a card from a friend?  Letters from mom or dad? Email has sucked the romance out of mails. Would you believe that the last greeting card I received via snail mail was 17 years ago?  Yep, those should now be on display at the Smithsonian.  The last time my mom sent me a birthday card was...

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I Want Annette Bening’s Hair (She can keep Warren Beatty)...

Mar 16, 2011 by

And I’ve tried…and tried…and tried.  I’ve finally had the startling epiphany (after attempt #48 or so) that I’ll never have her hair – because I don’t have her head (including that gorgeous 53-year-old happy kitten face). Well, duh, Mary. How often have even the most independent, self-confident of us tried to look like or be something we’re not?  Let’s pause here for a second in not-so-loving memory of the ubiquitous “Rachels” back in the day…’K. moving on. I didn’t have the ‘do. I thought it was quite sufficient for Jennifer Anniston to run around in the thing (followed by herd of hairdressers to keep the coif)…and she was recently quoted that it was “the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen.” Then there’s the depressing I’m supposed to look/be/do _____________. I’m convinced that this “supposed to”...

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What Do Cats Dream Of?

Mar 15, 2011 by

This elderly little cat has lived with me since I was 25, before I was married.  To everyone’s surprise, she has outlived my husband and now she is a thin, gray creature with a touch of kitty dementia.  This is the cat who comforted him on the night before his death in the hospital, the one who played “home” with us in that tiny ICU cubicle.  This is the cat who was present when he died. Dave loved her and her image graces our shared headstone. That same image is tattooed on my left foot, a memorial to him, to her and to the life we shared.  I count my blessings that she is still with me, though I know she is in the winter of her life.  She snuggles under my arm now,...

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Trading Nightmares For Dreams

Mar 4, 2011 by

I’m sitting on the couch on Friday morning.  A train whistles, telling tales of its journeys to places I’ve never been.  Mornings like this, Colorado reminds me of W. Virginia. Snow-clouds hang heavy over the city, obscuring the ever-present mountains. I must simply have faith that they are still there, still standing over us, watching and waiting forever.  I cannot see them now, but then that’s the nature of faith, isn’t it? I love this place.  I love that I can see the constellation of city lights from my kitchen windows.  I love how the steam from the nearby power plant clings together and stays close to home when the temperature dips below zero.  Sometimes that steam even turns to snow and falls right back down on us, as if to say, “Good or bad,...

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Keep Him…Then You Won’t Be Alone...

Feb 25, 2011 by

Max came into my life quite unexpectedly and my life changed. I didn’t know it at the time. How often do we not realize the little moments that ultimately impact our lives? I was enjoying a lazy Saturday when my friend Alf called to tell me that a rescued White West Highland Terrier had just been dropped off  ready to be adoped.  If I wanted the pooch I had to come over to his house right away. I really wasn’t looking for a dog.  I was traveling. I didn’t have a lot of time. But well .. I was curious and it’s difficult to say “no” to Alf so I drove to the other side of Atlanta  “just to check him out.” I wish I could tell you that I instantly fell in love...

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A Drawer a Day

Feb 21, 2011 by

So here is an admission I assume I am not alone in making: I have way too much. Way too many things I don’t use, clothes I don’t wear, objects that I don’t really see anymore – I’m talking about the ones in plain sight, forget the ones tucked away.  And I know, having watched friends move from their 8 room homes of many years to compact spaces of 1,000 square feet, that it is not a happy experience. It is God awful, maddening, depressing, every negative word you can think of. This will have to happen to me in a few years. I will be leaving my wonderful home for the past 33 years with its beautiful garden and 5 bedrooms and 3 baths and art all over the place and rich colored...

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Home Alone On A Saturday Night

Feb 18, 2011 by

I’ve been officially single since 1974. Separate from several ‘long-term’ relationships never lasting longer than 5 years, and only one that included a live-in partner for less than a year, I have managed my life as a single woman with serious attention to the elements that make it work. ‘Variety in Balance’ is a mantra of sorts for me. My astrologer friend gives her equivalent of a “Duh” nod, knowing that my Libra Sun Sign, my Enneagram point as a 7 and my Myers-Briggs personality type as ENFP, indicate a high need for interaction and stimulus. Thus the importance of the unspoken rule: “Always have plans for Saturday night.” Plans mean other people and leaving the house, although I also invite people to my house for dinner and an evening of good talk and maybe a...

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