Home Alone With Ice Cream

Where The Boys Are .. Someone Waits For Me

Apr 7, 2011 by Bonnie Simon

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It’s Friday night and I am home alone, angry at the sink. This is ridiculous, of course, but I feel as if I have been doing dishes all the livelong day and couldn’t the sink please split itself into equal halves so that I can wash this very large pan in the section with the disposal. It stubbornly refuses and I mumble curses at it.

I’m not really angry at the sink. I’m feeling sorry for myself. All I need now is a pint of ice cream to eat directly from the container.

I text a girlfriend who has invited me out, “I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself, it’s the dating thing again”. “OMG, me too!!”, she texts back. I like that about this friend. She is like me. We are surrounded by fabulous, fully content, single women. We admire them, even long to be like them in a way, but, as I like to say, we are not that girl.

We were the high school girls who chose activities based on the likelihood they would bring us in proximity with boys, rather than more university choices, and that hasn’t really changed. All grown up now, we have our careers, run our businesses and our households and follow our dreams; we have wonderful lives, but we are still susceptible to that pint of ice cream on a dateless Friday night.

My friend graciously promises to find me a boyfriend. I have no doubt she could do it, too. I make friends easily enough, but she has a way with men and it’s not only because she is beautiful. Just today, I asked her to call a cell phone store to ask a mundane question and it led to this unexpected conversation…

“Hi, Can you help me set up a second voice mailbox?”

<pause>

“How do you know my name??”

<pause>

“What do you look like?”

<pause>

“Are you short or tall?”

Needless to say, this is not the same conversation that would have happened if I had made the call and it was more effective too. The guy at the store figured out a solution that had nothing to do with the company’s products and offered to call her back later to explain how to set it up.

I like the idea of relying on her matchmaking skills, but my newspaper birthday horoscope said I would find romance in the fall, making me think it would be a good idea to wait. I know, I know … one should never rely on astrological predictions truncated to meet newspaper column requirements, but a break does seem wise. I have a lot to do! I have a business to start, vegetables to grow and chickens to chase out of the vegetable garden.

My thought to stop dating until then tells you just how much I admire those powerful single women who live their lives without longing for a mate, but it’s harder than it looks. I’m not that girl. I miss being married.

My late husband left quite a legacy. Because of him, I know what a good marriage looks like and how a good man behaves in it. I know how to hold a relationship together when times are tough and how to appreciate the little emotional gifts when things are good. I know what a good partner can offer.

I remind myself to be patient. The right partner will come along in his own time. I didn’t have any say in being widowed and I don’t have much control over this either. My job is to optimistic; to be myself, make friends and be a good friend. The rest, unlike the choice to eat that pint of ice cream, is out of my hands.

About the Author

Bonnie Simon Has Written 35 Articles For Us!

I am an urban homesteader in Colorado Springs, CO where I raise chickens, make my own yogurt and am learning to grow some food, all within sight of downtown in a 1950s era neighborhood. I am starting a small business designed to fill the gap between local farms and local dinner tables.

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