Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/customer/www/allthesinglegirlfriends.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/twitter-mentions-as-comments/includes/boilerplate/class.plugin-boilerplate.php on line 50

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/customer/www/allthesinglegirlfriends.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/twitter-mentions-as-comments/includes/boilerplate/class.plugin-boilerplate.php:50) in /home/customer/www/allthesinglegirlfriends.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-greet-box/includes/wp-greet-box.class.php on line 493
Self Image Archives - All The Single Girlfriends

The Conversation Is Launched

Sep 20, 2012 by

The Conversation Is Launched

The conversation has been launched ladies on re-defining the New Face Beauty! While this conversation has been in my mind over the last 20 years, I first started writing about it this past April in response to Ashley Judd’s outcry against the media for their gross representation of her weight and looks. It was my first commentary against the media for their portrayal of what beauty is and should be based on their reporting, reality TV, and the movie industry in general. Since then I’ve written 2 more posts on what we can do about it, and the fashion industries part in this conversation.  I suspect there are many more in the works. Why is this an important subject for me personally as well as socially? Growing up I lived in a household with 4 women...

read more

Beauty is a Sense of Freedom

Sep 5, 2012 by

Beauty is a Sense of Freedom

It was a warm, wonderful summer day. We’d all piled into the car, my step-mother, my Dad, my two sisters and myself, and were taking a leisurely drive to the lake. I say leisurely because that’s how I remember it. It could have been hurried and frantic, for all I know. In memory, I savor the warmth of the sun pouring in those fully rolled down windows of the car (no, I have no idea what kind of car; to this day, my relationship to cars is to answer the, “What kind of car do you drive?” question with, “A gold one.”), and the chatter of the family talking about what we’d do once we arrived at the lake. The lake was a frequent destination. Dad likes boating and while our boat was nothing...

read more

Beauty is as Beauty Does

Aug 13, 2012 by

Beauty is as Beauty Does

That’s what my mother used to tell me, back in the ancient days of my youth. I’d be all dressed up for a special occasion, preening in front of the mirror, and she’d come up behind me and give me a small smile, then fling that dinger at me. “Beauty is as beauty does.” Since I never considered myself beautiful, I was clueless. What did she mean?  I seldom pondered the answer to my own question. I had places to go. I know what she meant, now. I know she was trying to tell me to behave; that my looks could get me in trouble. But, as a teenager, all I could think was – “Do I look all right? Is my eyeliner straight? Is my blouse tight enough?” Yes, I was fortunate to...

read more

Hiding In A Huge Way

Jun 4, 2012 by

Hiding In A Huge Way

Big Question: Why did I think gaining weight would be protective? I’m just coming up to one month post-bariatric surgery.  There are still lots of questions going through my mind.  The first couple of weeks were fairly easy, I was on an extremely restricted diet and the weight just melted off. Now I’m supposed to begin eating a more “normal” diet, but I’m not sure what normal is.  My past portion size was my real downfall.  I was not much of a junk eater, though I did love my potato chips.  I really did not over indulge in snack-type foods.  What I did do was eat huge amounts of healthy food.  Healthy or not, super sizing leads to super sizes. So I’ve decided that I really need to look at my relationship to food. ...

read more

Week One: Success!

May 14, 2012 by

Week One: Success!

Well, I’ve made it through my first week. Actually, it was a week last Friday since I had my lap band procedure.  The first couple of day I felt great, even energized.  Then reality set in.  As I moved into what is called the Full Liquid Diet, I found that my tolerance for pre-made protein shakes, ones I’d had no problem with prior to surgery, really upset my stomach. After nearly 4 days of  living on green tea, I thought it best to call the doctor and ask if it was normal to feel so: 1, achy in the stomach; and 2, still be running to the loo with little warning of what was to come.  They assured me that all would be fine, to stop using the Atkins shakes and switch to a...

read more

It’s A New Day!

Apr 23, 2012 by

It’s A New Day!

This weekend has been a reawakening of my life. Friday, I had my lap-band surgery and all went really well.  Now the real work begins.  Truth be told, I’ve been holding back on so many emotions.  I feel like I have to say good-bye to old friends like pasta, bread and fried food.  But then that makes me wonder about why I would have thought them my friends. My friends would not hurt me or look to console me in a way that would threaten my health.  My friends would support me and help me make good choices.  So now I have to delve into the world of my food addiction and try to understand exactly what the attraction was/is all about. I think of it as my 12 step program to health.  First…admit...

read more

Five Days and Counting

Apr 16, 2012 by

Five Days and Counting

In five days my life changes.  No, not the bit 6-0 just yet, that will happen soon enough. I’m talking about my bariatric surgery.  On Friday, April 20th at 8:45 am, my life is going to add a new tool to its arsenal.  I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I’ve been wrestling with my emotions since making this decision.  I thought I’d blog about it on a weekly basis, but what I really did was sort of let work take over my life and push this reality onto the proverbial “back burner.”  Not to push the food analogies too far, but it’s simmered and now is ready to be ingested. So down to reality…all sort of things are running through my mind.  Will I ever eat bread again?  What about a cocktail?...

read more

That Gratitude List: Item #1 is becoming a writer...

Dec 26, 2011 by

That Gratitude List: Item #1 is becoming a writer

Here it is the holiday season. And no one over-40 gets through it without work, the emotional kind, I mean.  Ministers, spiritual coaches, and therapists worth their salt all tell us that work goes a lot easier if we start with a gratitude list.  Yeah, really. Well, that gratiude list really does trigger an internal paradigm shift – going from poor-me to lucky-me.  At the top of the list I put something that I have been wrestling with since 1975.  That’s my decision to become a writer. Had I not made that decision I might have become a rich, powerful woman.  After all I had the intelligence, stomach for risk-taking, and drive to take that great leap forward into investment banking or even being a security analyst. But, it dawns on me more and...

read more

That Second Half of Life: No one said it was going to be this way...

Dec 14, 2011 by

That Second Half of Life: No one said it was going to be this way

This is awful.  That’s what I thought to myself every few years, after I was over-50.  Now, I find out that I am not alone. “Necessary suffering” is what Richard Rohr calls much of what goes on in the second half of life.  A Roman Catholic priest, Rohr recently published “Falling Upward.” Yes, suffering is a predicable a phase in life as we age as was adolescence after childhood. During the first part of life, explains Rohr, we humans in theU.S.are preoccupied with getting ahead in a career, building the nest and a nest egg, and struggling with an identity.  Then comes the time of reflection about all that, plus, as the cliché goes, life intervenes. We may find that we indeed get ahead in our professional life.  However, we -also realize that the ladder...

read more

Are You Authentic … Or Lost In (Following) The Crowd?...

Dec 12, 2011 by

Are You Authentic … Or Lost In (Following) The Crowd?

I love old, retro authentic “stuff.” Rusted boxes? Ancient baskets? Yep, love ‘em (in moderation, I should note). One of my favorite garage sale finds wass a circuit breaker box with a fine “patina” (read rust) – polished up beautifully.  A friend found my truly vintage (company has been defunct for decades) steel and brass file cabinet on a street corner; it polished up nicely too. A small chair my uncle made some 70-odd years ago in shop sits next to my sofa, holding books. (I remember it sitting in my grandmother’s bathroom [? Go figure] for years). My solid wood swivel desk armchair (In which I’m sitting as a I type this on my slick-lookin’ iMac) was a $12 steal at Salvation Army. I hang framed postcards next to expensive art. I collect...

read more

Happy and Sad All at the Same Time...

Dec 5, 2011 by

Happy and Sad All at the Same Time

Recently a friend posted this on her Facebook status: “this week has been incredible so far as ups and downs emotionally. tonight, my husband took me to Lancaster for an incredible dinner and conversation. it was marvelous. on the way home, we witnesed a dog being hit by a car. I got to stop and hold the baby until she died a few minutes later. my heart is heavy now. she was beautiful in spirit and I got to take in her spirit as she passed. what does it mean? does anyone know? happy and sad all at the same time.” My response – “Sounds like you live a spiritually aware life.” If you’re not sad, depressed or scared (sometimes all three at the same time) on occasion, you’re missing something.  You’ve got to...

read more

To Color or Not to Color, Is That The Question?...

Sep 10, 2011 by

To Color or Not to Color, Is That The Question?

I recently read an interesting article in the Huffington Post about hair color for women over 50.  Barbara Hannah Grufferman’s article had some very interesting points to make.  I especially like the reference to actress Helen Mirren.  Is there a double standard being applied?  Why is grey hair in men considered distinguished and sexy, like George Clooney when you can look like Ms. Mirren? I’ve been playing with hair color since high school.  In the ’80’s I embraced the wild cuts and colors of punk rock, in the 90’s I went for the streak/highlights thing in my dark hair and hated that.  I’ve had blue hair (that’s royal blue), green hair, tri-colored hair (base color and red & white highlights) and everything in between.  Now that I’m of a certain age, I color my hair...

read more