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Relationships Archives - Page 3 of 3 - All The Single Girlfriends

Ni Hao, Hello My Friends

Mar 7, 2011 by

A few hours later, it had to be just a tad after 8am, the phone rang, being awakened by a phone during an early morning on the weekends when most of the world is in a state of slumber is well, un-nerving.  At this moment, it was completely inappropriate and I was NOT going to answer. We, he and I, never answered the phone and preferred to let the machine (that was older than Methuselah) do the answering for us and we screened our calls. I thought to myself just one more ring and I can see who it is before I decide to pick up the phone – and then the beeeeeeep! I had to listen carefully because the voice sounded weak, like that of a child, almost meek and shy and slowly...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 1...

Mar 3, 2011 by

By the time we’re 40, we’ve gone out on a few dates for sure.  Maybe even in the double digits.  Sometimes we’ve come back to dating after a divorce or the end of a live-in relationship, or even an affair. By the time we’re 40-something/middle-aged/andthensome, we’ve probably read a lot of dating advice books, too. We’ve probably  read “The Rules,”  “He’s Just Not that Into You,” and the “Mars and Venus” series, hoping one of these books has the answers to why we just aren’t slick enough to fathom the male mind, sexy enough to entice the male body, and “perfect” enough to hang on to Mr. Perfect. Thing is, he’s not perfect, and you’re not perfect either, sister. Not to mention the all important, and simple reality that what we might want in...

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Ohhh … So THAT’S Why (I’m Not Married)...

Mar 2, 2011 by

If you are like me, you have some friends who you intangibly just sense will not get married, at least any decade soon. You can sit around a table at lunch and know that wherever they are in the dating cycle, be it flirting, passion or boredom, it’s almost mute to talk about because they will be back around again. And again. I’m also in this “mortally single” class of woman myself. From observation I have deduced that this plight is not founded on looks or physical type. It is not geographical location. It is not even a specific career or education, though most mortally single women I know are smarter than the average bear. I have never been able to really put it into words very well, but read two blog articles today...

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Waking Up On The Black Couch

Feb 27, 2011 by

Returning home, the day’s events washed over me like a proper London rain. I was completely soaked in the wet energy of others, their grief and that of my own and could barely walk up the steps to our front door. Throughout the last hours I kept thinking to myself, ‘I have to get through this day, they have to know that they can count on me, be the rock, be the foundation, get this done.’ Upon entering our home, there was a deafening silence. It was so very quiet, void of all of the laughter and filled with the remnants of my rapid departure to the hospital the morning he had slipped from a coma into the beyond. In my haste to find a black outfit, that wasn’t a little black dress, but...

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Visualize The Bell Curve: Single Girlfriend Style...

Feb 23, 2011 by

That’s how I start my spiel about my single status.  It qualifies as a kind of default statement until another theory replaces it. But it has worked as an explanation for some years and I share it with you in the hopes it provides an explanation as opposed to an excuse for your unpaired situation. And before I go farther, I have to admit I am math phobic, so any corrections based on real math will be appreciated but useless.  It’s the idea here, not the details, that matters. Here we go: Visualize the Bell Curve (also known as standard distribution).  You remember it, two tiny ‘tails’ on each side with the big bump in the middle. The big bump represents 95% out of the 100% whole. That leaves 2 ½ % on each...

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My Spirit Was Broken But My Heart Was Singing...

Feb 19, 2011 by

George’s mother was a complete wreck as the funeral continued her wails and sobs at the loss of her youngest of 7 children, her ‘happy accident’ as she called him because he was born in her early forties when women of her time were simply not able to have kids, was being laid to rest. She had buried the eldest of her children a boyish man when he was 17 when George was a mere toddler and her husband 3 years prior of the same cancer. I had the idea to play some of George’s favourite music gently in the background so that when people approached the casket that did not hear church music. Portishead and Massive Attack played as softly as trip-hop could possibly. As her screams and cries echoed in the packed...

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Home Alone On A Saturday Night

Feb 18, 2011 by

I’ve been officially single since 1974. Separate from several ‘long-term’ relationships never lasting longer than 5 years, and only one that included a live-in partner for less than a year, I have managed my life as a single woman with serious attention to the elements that make it work. ‘Variety in Balance’ is a mantra of sorts for me. My astrologer friend gives her equivalent of a “Duh” nod, knowing that my Libra Sun Sign, my Enneagram point as a 7 and my Myers-Briggs personality type as ENFP, indicate a high need for interaction and stimulus. Thus the importance of the unspoken rule: “Always have plans for Saturday night.” Plans mean other people and leaving the house, although I also invite people to my house for dinner and an evening of good talk and maybe a...

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All You Need Is A Little Love

Feb 14, 2011 by

Launching All The Single Girlfriends on Valentine’s Day somehow seems appropriate and a bit ironic. Valentine Day’s love is so often equated with “romantic love.”  However, love takes many forms. I was curious to know “what love means” to our Girlfriend Authors. Here’s what they had to say about love .. “Love” – it has meant so many different things as I’ve changed. For example, pre-feminist movement, as a Baby Boomer, “love” meant romance that would involve a ring and marriage. When that happened, I knew that “love” didn’t really mean that for me. I ran from that whole enchilada. Now that I have finally connected the dots on who I am – I will collecting Social Security soon – “love” means the ability to understand and live with myself. Madonna sang about it...

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Kiss Me Like A Stranger

Feb 14, 2011 by

George – Chapter 1: That this will be read by complete strangers, people who I have not yet met or never, makes this missive seem almost therapeutic. I had come to Atlanta in 1992 to work as interpreter for an international law firm with a large Japanese client.  The assignment soon went from 3 weeks to almost 4 months. Over time I grew weary of law firm take-out food. While I was not vociferous, a young law student and runner for the firm took pity on the quiet French-Italian girl and directed me to the nearest French Bistro. It was a quaint place, small table, pseudo-bohemian students with a portrait of Miles Davis that nearly eclipsed a wall separating the bar from the main dining room. I sat facing it the right side of...

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Single (For Girlfriends) Usually Means Self-Supporting: The Implications...

Feb 12, 2011 by

Since I have always been single, I have no idea what the financial pressures are in the married state.  What I do know is that being self-supporting from my early 20s has meant I have pushed myself to learn how the world of work operated.  I didn’t seek to change it, either from within or externally through movements. The lessons learned aren’t pretty.  However, once I accepted the first premise that human beings, not carefully created systems, operate the workplace, I could live with the realities.  After all, humans have their shadow side, what Christians call “original sin” and Shakespeare called “cankered in the grain.” That shadow side demands that whoever has the power exerts the power.  No workplace is a democracy.  It’s up to us to figure out the rules and if we...

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