Mid-Life Sampler Platter

Mar 30, 2011 by

I got in my car the other day and the tripometer read ‘26.2’ and I thought to myself “This must be a sign that I should register for a marathon.” I later realized that it was probably not the universe telling me to train for a marathon, but rather my car telling me that if I really feel the need to travel 26.2 miles, I should do it while seated and at a speed of 60-70 MPH, not on foot at 5 MPH.   That’s the problem with signs.  If you read them wrong, you may wind up doing something stupid, like running, or calling an ex. I hate running.  Not that you can really call what I do ‘running’.  It’s more of a ‘wog’.  Not really walking, but slower than jogging.  For some reason...

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Lonely: A Professional Plus?

Mar 16, 2011 by

Back in high school, guidance counselors and teachers hammered into us Baby Boomers how difficult it was for the 76 million of us to get into college.  Early on we learned to game the system by presenting ourselves on our college applications as the well-rounded, social young people we were expected to be. Most of us learned that too well.  Right up to today, so many of us struggle to conceal that we were and are, well, one-dimensional loners.  Of course, pop culture, ranging from Bette Midler to the Beatles, reinforces that stigma about being one of those many lonely people. And it doesn’t matter a bit, does it, how successful we Apart People might be, compared to those who never bowled alone. Then an unusual book comes along.  It’s Lonely: Learning to Live...

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What Do Cats Dream Of?

Mar 15, 2011 by

This elderly little cat has lived with me since I was 25, before I was married.  To everyone’s surprise, she has outlived my husband and now she is a thin, gray creature with a touch of kitty dementia.  This is the cat who comforted him on the night before his death in the hospital, the one who played “home” with us in that tiny ICU cubicle.  This is the cat who was present when he died. Dave loved her and her image graces our shared headstone. That same image is tattooed on my left foot, a memorial to him, to her and to the life we shared.  I count my blessings that she is still with me, though I know she is in the winter of her life.  She snuggles under my arm now,...

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Trading Nightmares For Dreams

Mar 4, 2011 by

I’m sitting on the couch on Friday morning.  A train whistles, telling tales of its journeys to places I’ve never been.  Mornings like this, Colorado reminds me of W. Virginia. Snow-clouds hang heavy over the city, obscuring the ever-present mountains. I must simply have faith that they are still there, still standing over us, watching and waiting forever.  I cannot see them now, but then that’s the nature of faith, isn’t it? I love this place.  I love that I can see the constellation of city lights from my kitchen windows.  I love how the steam from the nearby power plant clings together and stays close to home when the temperature dips below zero.  Sometimes that steam even turns to snow and falls right back down on us, as if to say, “Good or bad,...

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My Spirit Was Broken But My Heart Was Singing...

Feb 19, 2011 by

George’s mother was a complete wreck as the funeral continued her wails and sobs at the loss of her youngest of 7 children, her ‘happy accident’ as she called him because he was born in her early forties when women of her time were simply not able to have kids, was being laid to rest. She had buried the eldest of her children a boyish man when he was 17 when George was a mere toddler and her husband 3 years prior of the same cancer. I had the idea to play some of George’s favourite music gently in the background so that when people approached the casket that did not hear church music. Portishead and Massive Attack played as softly as trip-hop could possibly. As her screams and cries echoed in the packed...

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While Fun, The Drama Does Drain...

Feb 17, 2011 by

I can cut onions and talk,” was how Kelley Connors, head of KC Health and builder of healthcare communities for women, entered the conversation on All The Single Girlfriends [ATSG] podcast February 14th.  And, that three-hour talkfest was how Toby Bloomberg launched ALSG, a digital community for women over-40 who are not in traditional marital relationships.  The Connors pragmatism captured exactly how we women had managed to buck convention and still blossom on every front, be it work or holding onto our health.  Regarding the latter, we were a hearty bunch. The lion’s share of the podcast, no surprise, focused on new economic realties.  The wife of a fireman [married women can be honorary members] made those very clear in her observation: “Everyone needs a Plan B. Only Plan B is yourself.” For her,...

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