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New Beginnings Archives - Page 3 of 3 - All The Single Girlfriends

Living a Dangerous Life

Apr 20, 2011 by

Everyone knows it’s dangerous to, say, ride a motorcycle or eat saturated fat, but somehow we miss the inherent danger of being alive. My husband died of acute leukemia.  In June of 2008, we were living ordinary lives.  In July, I took Dave to the doctor for what we thought was diverticulitis, common to 45 year old men and easy to cure.  In August, he was trapped in the hospital on chemotherapy and by the end of September, he was gone.  The whole hospital episode, from diagnosis to death, took six weeks. Is it any wonder it seems to me that we barely control anything in our lives?  Trouble will find you, even if you’re perfectly still.  What kind of world is this?  The raw truth is that it’s a world where the person...

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Home Alone With Ice Cream

Apr 7, 2011 by

It’s Friday night and I am home alone, angry at the sink.  This is ridiculous, of course, but I feel as if I have been doing dishes all the livelong day and couldn’t the sink please split itself into equal halves so that I can wash this very large pan in the section with the disposal.  It stubbornly refuses and I mumble curses at it. I’m not really angry at the sink.  I’m feeling sorry for myself.  All I need now is a pint of ice cream to eat directly from the container. I text a girlfriend who has invited me out, “I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself, it’s the dating thing again”.  “OMG, me too!!”, she texts back.  I like that about this friend.  She is like me.  We are surrounded by...

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Celebrating 100 Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Posts...

Apr 4, 2011 by

                  Sometimes when you color outside the lines magic happens! About 8 weeks ago a group of women joined together to launch a special social destination site, All The Single Girlfriends. We wanted to show the world that women 40+, who just  happened to be single (or who don’t take their total identify from their marriage, husband or kids) are living their lives with style and denial. Denial that .. we are not fabulous .. that we are not invisible . . that we are not all the same. It’s important to acknowledge the small successes along the way .. and 100 posts is cause for us to break out the bubbly.. even if it is virtual! Meet the Gf Authors! Each Gf author brings a unique idea...

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What Do Cats Dream Of?

Mar 15, 2011 by

This elderly little cat has lived with me since I was 25, before I was married.  To everyone’s surprise, she has outlived my husband and now she is a thin, gray creature with a touch of kitty dementia.  This is the cat who comforted him on the night before his death in the hospital, the one who played “home” with us in that tiny ICU cubicle.  This is the cat who was present when he died. Dave loved her and her image graces our shared headstone. That same image is tattooed on my left foot, a memorial to him, to her and to the life we shared.  I count my blessings that she is still with me, though I know she is in the winter of her life.  She snuggles under my arm now,...

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Two Widows .. Now Equals

Mar 14, 2011 by

I sat by the stack of RSVP’s for the wedding in June that would not take place. I stared at them a good long while before I picked them up and brought them over to the couch and began to alphabetize them. Normally I am not this anal retentive but, I thought it’d be easier to find their phone numbers and email addresses in my address book. Slowly but surely I was done. Each card had a corresponding number or email address so I could begin contacting the folks who were kind enough to have responded early to the Save The Date and wedding invitations in the morning. Surprisingly a good number of them were from friends that lived out of town. I crashed on the couch embraced by the scent of him. I...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 2...

Mar 10, 2011 by

Let’s be real. Dating at 40+ is different, and the same time, it’s pretty much as it was when we were in our 20’s. The difference now is that we (and he)  just might have a better idea of what we want .. or not. If you missed Part 1 (#1 It’s not all their fault and #2 Get happy with your life and with yourself) check it out and come back. 3.  GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW. Stop thinking about what it’s going to be like when you meet his bratty seven-year-old.   Don’t think long-term or long haul—because if you haven’t got to the first drink, you certainly aren’t going to meet the kid.  Take a step back from all those anxiety-causing thoughts of how miserable you might...

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International Women’s Day: How Will You Thank Yourself?...

Mar 8, 2011 by

Today, women from all over the globe, will join in solidarity to celebrate International Women’s Day. Too often it is expected, from our families to our work colleagues to our friends, that we, as women, will put ourselves second. Funny thing is even our girlfriends often assume that as well. On March 8th, as we celebrate the women of the world, our Gf author, Sunny Cervantes, reminds us that we should celebrate ourselves as well. As Sunny put it, “Since it’s a day to honor women, why can’t we say thank you to ourselves?” Why not?! Some of our Girlfriends share a few ideas on what they will thank themselves for and how they will make themselves feel extra special on International Women’s Day .. and through out the year. For having the determination...

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International Women’s Day: A Bridge of Solidarity...

Mar 8, 2011 by

“Women are the best index of the coming hour” – Ralph Waldo Emerson This year is a special year for women around the world as we celebrate the 100th International Women’s Day, now recognized as a global mainstream phenomena and celebrated as an official holiday in approximately 25 countries including Afghanistan, Russia, Ukraine, Vietnam and Zambia. As a women’s health advocate, marketer and communicator, I’m thrilled to see the bridge as a metaphor used to rally women and men at a time when we American women have a great role to play in bridging to a better future for our daughters.  We also have a great opportunity to build solidarity with and among women all over the world. Women in the US, for the most part, are a privileged community. Compared to women worldwide, the education...

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Trading Nightmares For Dreams

Mar 4, 2011 by

I’m sitting on the couch on Friday morning.  A train whistles, telling tales of its journeys to places I’ve never been.  Mornings like this, Colorado reminds me of W. Virginia. Snow-clouds hang heavy over the city, obscuring the ever-present mountains. I must simply have faith that they are still there, still standing over us, watching and waiting forever.  I cannot see them now, but then that’s the nature of faith, isn’t it? I love this place.  I love that I can see the constellation of city lights from my kitchen windows.  I love how the steam from the nearby power plant clings together and stays close to home when the temperature dips below zero.  Sometimes that steam even turns to snow and falls right back down on us, as if to say, “Good or bad,...

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Turn A Corner And Find Magic

Mar 4, 2011 by

Sometimes road trips are magical. While visiting Billings Montana, to speak to a group of Tire Dealers, I had a spare 2 hours and decided to venture out to visit the Western Heritage Center two short blocks from my hotel. Sometimes fate and being unafraid to be adventuresome really pays off. I was the only “tourist” so the curator Kevin-Kooistra-Manning, ( the only man I’ve ever met who’s last name is his wife’s maiden name he unashamedly admitted to me , “I did not know the rule onthat when we got married”, gave me a VIP tour. The only other folks at there were the local paper the Gazzette doing a photo shoot and interview with the two top artist of Montana, Clyde Aspevig & Ben Steele. Ben Steele was recently featured in the bestselling book, soon to...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 1...

Mar 3, 2011 by

By the time we’re 40, we’ve gone out on a few dates for sure.  Maybe even in the double digits.  Sometimes we’ve come back to dating after a divorce or the end of a live-in relationship, or even an affair. By the time we’re 40-something/middle-aged/andthensome, we’ve probably read a lot of dating advice books, too. We’ve probably  read “The Rules,”  “He’s Just Not that Into You,” and the “Mars and Venus” series, hoping one of these books has the answers to why we just aren’t slick enough to fathom the male mind, sexy enough to entice the male body, and “perfect” enough to hang on to Mr. Perfect. Thing is, he’s not perfect, and you’re not perfect either, sister. Not to mention the all important, and simple reality that what we might want in...

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Starting Over, Over and Over

Feb 11, 2011 by

The shock for me – and now for more and more of us – was that I was older, yet I had to start over again.  In 2003, my communications boutique had collapsed.  My personal life hadn’t been too hot either. [My free e-book GeezerGuts].  African-American bestselling author and Yoruba priestess Iyanla Vanzant puts this way in her new book Peace from Broken Pieces. You need to start over when you “trip over the fallacies and fantasies that you have created or inherited. You slip on your dysfunctional puzzle pieces and your distorted sense of self.” It took longer than I expected but I did get on the other side of all that.  By trial and error I discovered that my talent and the market were right for social media.  Finally I found out...

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