Flea Markets Are Like Dating, or Maybe Not...

Apr 14, 2011 by

I enjoy flea markets. I love fleaing.  Ur, no, no – not fleeing. We’re not talking about dating when you’re 50+ today.  Or, maybe we are.  The quality rankings of fleaing could apply to dating.  But then we humans can make pretty much anything (Hey! Quantum physics!) apply to our mating rituals.  But I digress.  ANYHOO… I can spend hours and hours marveling that someone somewhere actually bought the turquoise/burnt orange/rusted/broken gizmoy thingie in the first place.  What the hell is it anyway; good lord is that really three zeros on the price tag!? WHAT is the dealer smoking? Now, that I’d buy – must be really good shit, man. For those of you who may be new to the fine art of fleaing, here are some basics: Fundamental law that applies to all...

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Cotton Candy and Circus Peanuts...

Apr 11, 2011 by

Over the years I have dated a bit and learned some valuable things about men that I sometimes feel compelled to share with other women who may not have connected the dots about certain man-things. I also occasionally share these pearls of wisdom with men so that they might be able to recognize certain aspects of their own personalities and adjust.  They rarely adjust, but it makes me feel better to think that I tried. One of the things that I’ve learned about men is that if they are awake, they feel their significant other should also be awake.  If they are sleeping, their significant other should also be sleeping. I don’t normally like to generalize, but I don’t feel that this is a generalization.  It’s a fact.  Something I have concluded after many...

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Home Alone With Ice Cream

Apr 7, 2011 by

It’s Friday night and I am home alone, angry at the sink.  This is ridiculous, of course, but I feel as if I have been doing dishes all the livelong day and couldn’t the sink please split itself into equal halves so that I can wash this very large pan in the section with the disposal.  It stubbornly refuses and I mumble curses at it. I’m not really angry at the sink.  I’m feeling sorry for myself.  All I need now is a pint of ice cream to eat directly from the container. I text a girlfriend who has invited me out, “I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself, it’s the dating thing again”.  “OMG, me too!!”, she texts back.  I like that about this friend.  She is like me.  We are surrounded by...

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Do Love Triangles Really Exist?...

Apr 5, 2011 by

I spent the weekend watching videos of Princess Diana and Prince Charles.  For my trouble, I ended up with a monstrous migraine. Their story reminded me once again that people love for reasons that have nothing to do with beauty, glamour, power or success.  The world may perceive you as the ugliest duckling ever.  Yet, in the eyes of the right man, you are beautiful and fascinating beyond belief.  By the same token, you can be Miss Universe and Albert Einstein rolled into one but, with the wrong man, you’re just another annoying chit. More than that, though, their story reminded me of how judgmental we can be of others and of issues that we know nothing about. Maybe I’m naïve but I don’t think anyone sets out to be a cheating husband, scorned...

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You Have .. Snail Mail!

Mar 17, 2011 by

I miss receiving snail mail.  The only snail mail I get these days are my bills and that, I definitely do not miss. There was a time when the sight of an approaching postman would fill me with excitement.  Today, I am filled with dread whenever I see my postman.  He never brings anything good anymore.  Just bills, bills and more bills.  Whatever happened to the days when the arrival of a postman heralded a love letter?  Or a card from a friend?  Letters from mom or dad? Email has sucked the romance out of mails. Would you believe that the last greeting card I received via snail mail was 17 years ago?  Yep, those should now be on display at the Smithsonian.  The last time my mom sent me a birthday card was...

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What Do Cats Dream Of?

Mar 15, 2011 by

This elderly little cat has lived with me since I was 25, before I was married.  To everyone’s surprise, she has outlived my husband and now she is a thin, gray creature with a touch of kitty dementia.  This is the cat who comforted him on the night before his death in the hospital, the one who played “home” with us in that tiny ICU cubicle.  This is the cat who was present when he died. Dave loved her and her image graces our shared headstone. That same image is tattooed on my left foot, a memorial to him, to her and to the life we shared.  I count my blessings that she is still with me, though I know she is in the winter of her life.  She snuggles under my arm now,...

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Two Widows .. Now Equals

Mar 14, 2011 by

I sat by the stack of RSVP’s for the wedding in June that would not take place. I stared at them a good long while before I picked them up and brought them over to the couch and began to alphabetize them. Normally I am not this anal retentive but, I thought it’d be easier to find their phone numbers and email addresses in my address book. Slowly but surely I was done. Each card had a corresponding number or email address so I could begin contacting the folks who were kind enough to have responded early to the Save The Date and wedding invitations in the morning. Surprisingly a good number of them were from friends that lived out of town. I crashed on the couch embraced by the scent of him. I...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 2...

Mar 10, 2011 by

Let’s be real. Dating at 40+ is different, and the same time, it’s pretty much as it was when we were in our 20’s. The difference now is that we (and he)  just might have a better idea of what we want .. or not. If you missed Part 1 (#1 It’s not all their fault and #2 Get happy with your life and with yourself) check it out and come back. 3.  GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW. Stop thinking about what it’s going to be like when you meet his bratty seven-year-old.   Don’t think long-term or long haul—because if you haven’t got to the first drink, you certainly aren’t going to meet the kid.  Take a step back from all those anxiety-causing thoughts of how miserable you might...

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Trading Nightmares For Dreams

Mar 4, 2011 by

I’m sitting on the couch on Friday morning.  A train whistles, telling tales of its journeys to places I’ve never been.  Mornings like this, Colorado reminds me of W. Virginia. Snow-clouds hang heavy over the city, obscuring the ever-present mountains. I must simply have faith that they are still there, still standing over us, watching and waiting forever.  I cannot see them now, but then that’s the nature of faith, isn’t it? I love this place.  I love that I can see the constellation of city lights from my kitchen windows.  I love how the steam from the nearby power plant clings together and stays close to home when the temperature dips below zero.  Sometimes that steam even turns to snow and falls right back down on us, as if to say, “Good or bad,...

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Dating By The Time You’re 40+ Part 1...

Mar 3, 2011 by

By the time we’re 40, we’ve gone out on a few dates for sure.  Maybe even in the double digits.  Sometimes we’ve come back to dating after a divorce or the end of a live-in relationship, or even an affair. By the time we’re 40-something/middle-aged/andthensome, we’ve probably read a lot of dating advice books, too. We’ve probably  read “The Rules,”  “He’s Just Not that Into You,” and the “Mars and Venus” series, hoping one of these books has the answers to why we just aren’t slick enough to fathom the male mind, sexy enough to entice the male body, and “perfect” enough to hang on to Mr. Perfect. Thing is, he’s not perfect, and you’re not perfect either, sister. Not to mention the all important, and simple reality that what we might want in...

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Ohhh … So THAT’S Why (I’m Not Married)...

Mar 2, 2011 by

If you are like me, you have some friends who you intangibly just sense will not get married, at least any decade soon. You can sit around a table at lunch and know that wherever they are in the dating cycle, be it flirting, passion or boredom, it’s almost mute to talk about because they will be back around again. And again. I’m also in this “mortally single” class of woman myself. From observation I have deduced that this plight is not founded on looks or physical type. It is not geographical location. It is not even a specific career or education, though most mortally single women I know are smarter than the average bear. I have never been able to really put it into words very well, but read two blog articles today...

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Waking Up On The Black Couch

Feb 27, 2011 by

Returning home, the day’s events washed over me like a proper London rain. I was completely soaked in the wet energy of others, their grief and that of my own and could barely walk up the steps to our front door. Throughout the last hours I kept thinking to myself, ‘I have to get through this day, they have to know that they can count on me, be the rock, be the foundation, get this done.’ Upon entering our home, there was a deafening silence. It was so very quiet, void of all of the laughter and filled with the remnants of my rapid departure to the hospital the morning he had slipped from a coma into the beyond. In my haste to find a black outfit, that wasn’t a little black dress, but...

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