And Now A Word From The Fashion Police …

Summer Fashion Snark

Apr 2, 2012 by

Spring has come early to Boston! Actually it was more like summer last week with temperatures above 80. With this gift from Mother Nature came the flip side of a warm day…fashion faux pas everywhere I looked.

I am by no means a style expert, some of my favorite outfits are too old to even admit! No one has ever mistaken me for a fashion expert BUT some things must obviously be pointed out because it seems many people this week went out without the benefit of common sense…or a mirror!

For  Girlfriends …

Just because the belly shirt is your size doesn’t mean everyone should wear one. If your belly sticks out further than your breasts…cover it up! If your belly covers your waistband when you stand up( or for that matter if you’re seated) wear a full length shirt.

If you have pronounced, protruding vericose veins…NO short shorts. When you decide to wear shorts, please decide to shave your legs-all the way up.
Never should knee highs be worn with shorts. This is always a fashion don’t!

If back fat is a problem, a tiny spaghetti strap shirt is a bad look. This also applies to bat wing flab. That is why God, and all the best designers, invented sleeves .. it has a lot to do with jiggly arms.

If you like the Carrie Bradshaw look with visible bras and bra straps… remember to leave the old ratty gray ones in the drawer til winter comes around again.

Overalls are a great look…for farmers.

Camel toes belong on a camel…a quick look in the mirror will tell you this does not look stylish. And if you lack a mirror, a friend should not let you leave the house.

When you think it’s time to break out those cute stappy little sandals, remember to book an immediate pedicure. Winter feet NEED attention before they see the sun.

Orangy self tanners are not attractive.

Those oh so trendy gauzy floral skirts look great on a certain size…on others they look like drapes. Only Carol Burnett gets away with wearing drapes! Or Scarlet O’Hara. 

Pig tails and “side ponys” look adorable on children and teens…after a “certain” age they are really just kind of desperate.

And For The Men In Our Lives …

Pull your pants up! No one needs to know if you are a briefs or boxer kind of man while walking down the street.

If you have “man boobs” a wife beater is NOT a good look. That also applies to neck to wrist tattoos, cover them up.

Crude T-shirts are not  sexy.

If your old cutoff jeans are so frayed that others can see your undies…cut up a new pair

As mentioned above, overalls are a great look for farmers.

If your belly hangs out of the bottom of your Tshirt…it’s too small! Go shopping for the next size up.

Pastel pants are a great summer look for SOME men. Others look ridiculous. Make sure you have an honest friend who can tell the difference.

Men can wear sandals. Well some men and some sandals. Nasty yellowed overlong toenails are just…nasty. Break down, embrace your inner metrosexual and get a pedicure.

NEVER should socks be worn with sandals!

Most men do not look good with long stringy hair-especially if they are shall we say a little “thin” on top. You don’t look cool.

A bandanna is a great look-if you are in a rock band or robbing a train!

I’m sure everyone has their own list of pet peeves about fashion nightmares. Hopefully when you see me I’m not committing one of those mistakes!


About the Author

Polli Graham Has Written 19 Articles For Us!

I am by education an RN, have worked the majority of my career in ICUs. A few years ago I traded in my scrubs for lady clothes and a briefcase and now I am a liaison for group of excellent Rehabilitaion Hospitals here in Massachusetts. I get to travel around talking with people all day, do some direct marketing and education, and use skills honed over thirty years. In my real life I am a sister, an aunt a daughter and a friend. I have wonderful nieces and nephews who I can play with, travel with, be proud of and spoil! I’ve saved pictures of all our adventures so that someday I can blackmail them into taking me to Early Bird specials.
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3 Comments

  1. omg–can’t believe I missed this! hysterical! As I got (get?) bigger in size I always remind myself: just because they make it in your size–and it stretches–doesn’t mean you should wear it.

    I think one of the biggest problems for women with today’s fashion is knowing what to wear after about 40. If you’re thin, you can stretch the trendiness out a few more years till you’re maybe 45. But after that, you have to be very, very careful with trends.

    The other strange thing about trends is, right now, many of them are boomerangs from earlier eras. Esp. the 1980’s these days. If you were an “It” girl in the 80’s like I was, you really can’t reprise the role in middle-age, let alone in another century. The minute I see a woman with a short spikey hairdo–like Kris Jenner–I think “wow, wearing your ’80’s a little too proudly, ain’t ya??” It makes one look old and out of touch–not up with the trends at all (esp. since there is no short hair trend nowadays.)

    Personally, I think fashion–or more importantly, true style–is important. Too many women think it isn’t, but unless you’re living in the land of LL Bean, and really do not want anyone to look at you, then you really ought to consider what you look like when you leave the house. With one caveat: if you don’t feel good, don’t worry about it. But I find that when I go out, and I look good, I smile at others, talk to others, and have a really good time even going to a really lousy mall like the one we have out here. Surprisingly, or not, people like to talk to me too when I look good. That’s too, how I find I leave an impression. Sometimes someone might not remember my name, but they might remember the red dress or the high shoes, or the really pretty necklace. When business networking, sometimes that’s where a second conversation starts. I’m never offended by this either–it’s better than someone not remembering you!

  2. Great post! I agree with most of your input. The thing is – people who don’t care, like Bonnie, need to accept that the rest of us do care. At least, about being neat and polite, with our dress. I’m sure Bonnie is, but… I’m also sure too many other people say, “I’ll do as I please!” and make the rest of us suffer for their dress faux paux. Seriously, why can’t everyone be fashionably polite?

  3. I’m afraid I’ve never had much interest in the fashion police. In fact, I’m putting my hair in pigtails right now, just because I like it that way. In my opinion, it’s worth paying enough attention to be sure I’m dressed modestly and tastefully, but not much more. Fretting over what other people will think about the rest is wasting my time.

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