Thanks Mom


Nov 24, 2011 by

Thanksgiving has been a take it or leave it holiday for me. When my dad was alive, my mother would make a huge Thanksgiving Day feast – she made the best stuffing with oysters. It was very good. (I could never duplicate that recipe even though I credit my mother with my skills as a good cook and my perfection with making a bed with hospital corners and a tidy house).

After my father passed away and my mother came to live with my husband and me, our tradition was going out to eat at usually a fancy place (that was my indulgence considering I cooked for Christmas – I LOVE to cook and bake for Christmas  – you should see the spread I usually put out).

Even though my husband and I ventured out west and my mother stayed in Pittsburgh, we continued the tradition of eating out on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving will be different for me. You see, my mother passed away on November 27, 2006 and this will be her 5-year death anniversary. Additionally, my husband is living and working in Louisville, KY for the time being (yes, we are a commuter couple once again, third time, in our 16 years of wedded bliss.) I don’t know why we remember death anniversaries, but in my mother’s case, I still think of my mother as not dying but traveling and is in another town or another room and I will see her soon enough. I think this is because I am a very spiritual and intuitive person and I don’t view death as permanent, I view it as a change. Perhaps that is my Zen Buddhist-self making an appearance – Buddhists strongly believe in impermanence.

Looking back at my mother’s life, she was a very loving, religious woman who had her moments – there were times she absolutely drove me crazy – but then whose mother didn’t drive them crazy at times? The colors that I saw from my mother were that of independence, insight, love, empathy, humor, strength, intelligence and a host of other traits but these “magnificient seven” words really characterized my mother.

So, on this holiday, while I will be thinking about being without my mother for five years, I will be thinking about all the things my mother gave me to help me strengthen my character and help me persevere on and enjoy my journey.

Thanks Mom for your insight that made you a trusted advisor for me, thank you for your love, thank you for your empathic nature, thank you for your humor (and sometimes you had a wicked sense of humor), thank you for your strength and passing it down to me, thank you for your independence because I saw how much you grew from being dependent on others into an independent woman who was very self-sufficient, and thank you for your amazing intelligence.

In addition to what my mother gave me, I practice gratitude daily by writing down five things I am grateful for, no matter how trivial they are.

On this day of Thanksgiving, my wish for you is I hope you can find five things that you are grateful for and I hope that you can expand that into an every day gratitude journal for you.

About the Author

Susyn Elise Duris Has Written 5 Articles For Us!

These days, I am a marketing consultant, working in the technology, communications and entertainment sectors, actress (working mainly in the indie film, episodic TV and web series mediums), producer (my production company, Steel Pawz Productions, is producing the web series "The Dating Life"). My love of social media keeps me on my toes. I guess I am never satisfied, I am always in a state of learning. I am a student of life. My goal in life is to always be present to life. If you aren't, something really cool is going to pass you by. Social media and writing keeps me on my toes and always striving to learn.
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1 Comment

  1. Susan what a great ode to your mum through gratitude for those gifts she provided you. I am looking forward to reading more.

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