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Present – The Story Of Me And My Dad

Happy Father's Day!

Jun 18, 2011 by Bonnie Simon

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My dad bought me the nicest ring last weekend at the local Fine Arts Center. I love it! It’s a beautiful ring, but mostly I like how it makes me feel like an adored little girl.

Is that odd at my age? I suppose it could be, but that’s the story of me and my dad.

The story starts with a very functional relationship between two very young people, my father in his early 20s and me as a young child. I suppose parenting is a mystery for many people when a first child is born, but since my grandparents had divorced in my dad’s childhood, something uncommon and frowned upon at the time, the future must have been that much more murky.

It could not have been easy. With no model for an intact family, my dad would have to learn how to be present as he went along. I figure it’s been a grand experiment, with me and my brother as the result.

Parenting wasn’t the only experiment, either. Coming from a hardworking, blue collar background, my dad worked very hard at building his career, especially when we were all young. He climbed the corporate ladder, all while earning a Ph.D and pulling us up by our bootstraps into the middle class. Both my parents are walking lessons in perseverance, a characteristic that has served me very well over the years. I learned, from my earliest days, how to keep plugging along even when it’s hard work and you can’t see the end.

He worked hard and since I wanted to be just like my dad, I learned to work hard too.

In later years, he taught me the rest of that lesson about getting along in a mysterious world. Try something, evaluate what went well and what didn’t, formulate a new plan and try it again. Look at the results rationally, not emotionally. This strategy serves me well, both in my career ventures and in my personal life, especially these days as I try to start my own business.

All that work in our combined youth made me and my brother adept at making our own way in the world. Even better, the blessing of a long life has been the time given me and my dad to relax a bit and enjoy each other’s company, to be present in a new way. We try to take a father-daughter trip of some kind every year. We’ve indulged a passion for country music in Nashville, visited endless art galleries in Santa Fe and even searched for my house here in Colorado Springs.

My parents visited last weekend and as I admired the rings at the Arts Center gift shop, my dad announced he would buy “one present” for me and one for my mom. I wear that ring everywhere (at least everywhere it isn’t likely to be pecked by a chicken) as an emblem, telling the world that I am a woman whose father believes she is worth the time and trouble of being present in her life. I have supporting evidence, right here on my hand, that I have a place in the world.

Thanks, Dad, and happy Fathers Day. I’d call this experiment an all-round success.

About the Author

Bonnie Simon Has Written 35 Articles For Us!

I am an urban homesteader in Colorado Springs, CO where I raise chickens, make my own yogurt and am learning to grow some food, all within sight of downtown in a 1950s era neighborhood. I am starting a small business designed to fill the gap between local farms and local dinner tables.

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