Wouldn’t You Change Anything – Really?
The Best Is Yet To Come - Really!
It always amuses me when folks answer the “If you could change anything about your past, what would it be?” with, “Nothing. If I changed anything, I wouldn’t be me.”
Really? Nothing? Absolutely nothing has happened in your past that you would change, if you could go back and make changes?
Well, I’d change a lot. And, I’d expect to be the exact same person I am today, only better; sooner.
How does that work? Here’s how…
When I was a child I was phenomenally shy and introverted. Never mind why. I just was. If I could go back and not be shy, I would. I’d like to engage with the neighborhood kids on a one-on-one level, and not be afraid of being left out because… no one liked me. I remember one instance where a truly nasty girl (she lived next door) knew it was easy to make me cry so during a game we were playing, she snuck up behind me and pulled my pants down.
I was mortified. I was so mortified I don’t remember what I did. I think I froze.
I’d like to go back and slap her silly. Yes, I would.
During my teen years, there are a few changes I would make, also. I’d concentrate more on my studies. I’d recognize that my teachers really did care about us and weren’t just trying to make our lives miserable. In English class, especially, I’d pay more attention. I remember having to read Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson and I did nothing but complain about it. It wasn’t what I was used to – which was bodice ripper novels, mostly.
I wish I’d known that good literature requires thoughtful review. I wish I’d known that bodice ripper novels were trash – not worth my time. Granted, they did inspire me to write, and no, I didn’t write bodice ripper novels, I wrote stories about being a girl… what else? The problem was, I didn’t understand the true purpose of learning how to understand good literature. And, consequently, I didn’t learn good writing until well into adulthood.
As I matured, I continued to be an introvert, held over from my childhood. Oh, I had friends. I went to parties. But, I was scared to death to go anywhere on my own. I never went to clubs! OMG! Crowds made me cringe! The one time I attended a club with a girlfriend, I was so petrified I mumbled, “No!” to the first guy who asked me to dance (dance? I didn’t dance!) and I made my friend take me home. Boy, was she mad!
I wish I’d been able to enjoy that night. I wish I’d just allowed myself to have fun. To dance and have a drink or two. To laugh and accept compliments. People said I was attractive, but I didn’t see it. Looking back, I wasn’t hard to look at. I wish I’d known that. I wish I’d been comfortable in my skin and not always afraid that my make-up was messed up, or my fat stomach was showing (it wasn’t fat – boy, do I wish I had that little tummy today!), or that I might say or do something to make people laugh at me. I wish I had accepted that blushing was ok – it didn’t mean people would make fun of you.
Life was not kind to me, as a child or a young woman. But, when I look back now, I understand that it could have been much worse.
I just wish I’d had a chance to be… myself. I wish I had known that my best years were ahead of me.
If only I’d taken time to actually study in school and treasure my friends and not let life intimidate me, I might have actually achieved some of my dreams.
The other day, when we were walking our dogs, I saw some children playing across the street. They were delightful. I mused, to myself, that life is lived a little bit backwards. Women my age should be the caretakers of children because we have the patience and the knowledge to make their world so much better. When we’re young, we’re not trained yet and we make so many mistakes. Yes, we have more energy – but that should be applied to our own lives. To help us become better parents and better women and better people.
Then, we should have children – making sure they can be kids; that they grow up strong and confident; that they learn from mistakes and value friendship more than ‘things.’ Kids should have the benefit of an adult who shows love and care, allowing the child to live life with laughter.
Oh yes, I’d go back and change a whole lot of things in my life, if I had the chance. The person I wish I’d had a chance to be would be a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend before she was approaching… the age I’m approaching now.
Just saying…
Graphic credit: Reveal Real Estate
About the Author
Yvonne DiVita Has Written 12 Articles For Us!
Yvonne DiVita is the author of Dick*less Marketing: Smart Marketing to Women Online, the premier book on marketing to women online. As President of Windsor Media Enterprises, LLC specializing in Publishing 3.0 using print-on-demand, as well as business blog building and social media strategy, Yvonne is an active blogger starting with her women’s blog Lip-Sticking. Her latest book, A Little Book of Big Thoughts, is offered on her blog as an e-book and a print book. In the summer of 2009, she co-founded BlogPaws, an online pet community to support pet bloggers and pet lovers. BlogPaws has successfully held two social media conferences in 2010 and is diligently working on conference #3 for August of 2011.
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Yvonne – Thank you for bravely opening a very personal window of your life. I too would go back and change much .. sometimes it takes a lifetime to grow into you. But what we would have .. could have done if we had know how cool we were sooner?