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May 2011 - Page 2 of 3 - All The Single Girlfriends

Yes, It CAN (Will?) Happen to You...

May 13, 2011 by

Yes, It CAN (Will?) Happen to You

Sure, we’re all fun and fab and over 40 (or 50, or 60).  But, age isn’t just a number.  It’s a reality, and our bodies have their own agenda, even with the best of care. As difficult as it may be for independent women, we also have to realize we need help on occasion, especially as we get “old old.” We don’t think “that” will ever happen to us – falls, dementia, fading sight, just plain old age – but if we live long enough it will, in some form or fashion. Even Betty White moves slower than she used to…and I’ve been told bladder control is one of the first things to go.  (Here’s an idea –  thong Depends in designer colors!) Are you still reading? Or have I totally bummed you out? ...

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I Never Promised You A Rose Garden...

May 11, 2011 by

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

No one ever said it would be easy .. and other 20th century maxims that stick in my brain.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Beauty is skin deep. Too many cooks spoil the stew. If your best friend jumped off a cliff, would you? Don’t make me come in there. I’ll give you something to cry about! Who do you think you are? Because I said so… All of the above were uttered by my mother at one time or another, back when I was a kid. This was back in the day – when Moms could threaten bodily harm and not be afraid of being reported to social services. It was back when Moms had power; when any adult woman in your household had power over you, including Aunts and...

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My Unforgettable Mother

May 8, 2011 by

My Unforgettable Mother

I wrote the post below in October 2008 and as I tried to write a Mother’s Day post this year I decided that I felt pretty much exactly the same today as I had felt then….probably not the best endorsement from the department of “letting go” but honestly after three years I am just now maybe getting used to the fact that she is really gone and I still miss her with the same intensity that I felt the day in May when she took her last breath. She was unforgettable… Today would have been my mom’s 96th birthday. She passed away in May, a week after Mother’s Day,  so it is really with this birthday that the circle of firsts begin. The first October 27th when we are not celebrating her birthday; the first Thanksgiving...

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My Creative Inspiration

May 8, 2011 by

My Creative Inspiration

My mother was a school nurse for many years in our town’s elementary school system.  She has accomplished so much in her life, but she would not agree as she is very self-effacing! My mom has tended to making all of the dozens of homes she and my dad have owned into beautiful spaces that bring together our large and extended family, including 7 nieces and nephews. From beach houses to city dwellings, it’s all about everyone else. She is a lot of fun too, and despite being diagnosed with breast cancer late last year, she rides her bike with my dad up to 30 miles a day several days a week. I can’t think of any other word to describe my lovely mother, other than an inspiration! The picture of my mom is...

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Remembering Barbara

May 7, 2011 by

Remembering Barbara

I lost my Mom 10 years ago-at times it feels like eons, other times it was a blink ago. If you’ve lost your Mom you probably know what I mean. Seldom does a day go by when I don’t think of something I wish I could share with her-good, bad or evil! My Mom was a very involved, hands on mother. She knew what was going on in all of our lives, not that she always approved. There was usually always a daily phone call-and you better have a great excuse for letting her go to voice mail( working nights meant nothing! If she had something to share-you better wake up) She went to all her grandkids recitals, award ceremonies even Little League games. She knew who was arguing with their husbands, who’s kid...

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Mummy I Remember …

May 7, 2011 by

Mummy I Remember …

Memories of my mom sometimes feel like faded rose petals. Rose petals at the stage when they are velvety but the color has changed from vibrant to softer shades. The stage when they drop to the earth but the fragrance is still sweet and strong. At other times those memories seem to be as elusive as when you were a little girl and blew on a dandelion and the winds took the seeds and carried then away.  Sometimes, it feels as though the memories are so overwhelming that I have to close my eyes to get to the next moment in time. What can I tell you who might read this about a women who is dancing in the stars with her soul mate, my dad, and my sister? How can I pay tribute...

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The Best Gift I Ever Got

May 7, 2011 by

The Best Gift I Ever Got

Most of my life has been spent traveling and moving from place to place and job to job.  The one constant was my mother’s house.  My dad had built the house and when he passed away (I was 16) it was like time stopped.  The place looked exactly as it had for all my life, right down to the avocado kitchen cabinets and gold wall-to-wall carpet.  But it was home and Mom always gave me a place to land.  The number of boxes stored in her garage, including the darkroom I’d built right after college, was enormous. I’d just returned from one of my “moves” and landed a job with the Wildlife Conservation Society, and decided to go back to graduate school for a Master’s degree.  Limited funds and apartment rents in NYC made...

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Direct Connections: My Mother, My Daughter And Me...

May 6, 2011 by

Direct Connections: My Mother, My Daughter And Me

My mother always cared about her appearance. In the Hospice facility where she spent her last two weeks, the staff knew her as the woman who greeted her visitors wearing a stylish scarf and earrings. She jokingly recited a ditty she had learned from her 90-year old neighbor: “A little powder, a little paint, Makes you look like what you ain’t.” Food never stopped being of importance either. I drove around the streets of Denver looking for a place to find Pho for one of her last meals. I inherited my mother’s adventurous and discriminating palate and love of beauty. My ability to shop successfully for myself and others came from the years of shopping with my mother in New York in the 50’s. Her feet were small – 71/2 quad – which meant...

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Clutter and Keys – How My Mother Taught Me to Live a Satisfying Life...

May 6, 2011 by

Clutter and Keys – How My Mother Taught Me to Live a Satisfying Life

Much to my dismay, I had to cancel the housecleaning service this week. I’ve outsourced my housecleaning as long as I can remember and I’m annoyed that I can’t reconcile paying for cleaning now that I’ve willfully quit my job.  My housemate finds this amusing. “I just clean a little every day,” she says.  “Just as my mother taught me.” My mother probably tried to teach me the same thing, but in my contrary way I cultivated a trait usually ascribed to men.  I don’t see dirt.  More accurately, I don’t see clutter.  Dirt can be used to grow things and captures my interest.  Clutter, on the other hand, is simply my organizational system. It seems natural to me to overlook the clutter because of its low priority.  My mother did many things while...

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Caring Comes In Threes

May 6, 2011 by

Caring Comes In Threes

When Toby suggested we write about our moms for Mother’s Day, I thought it was a wonderful idea; but for me, it was also a very difficult task.  The reason it is so difficult for me is because I write about silly, fluff-stuff and am not great with sentiment or emotion.  Since I have the greatest Mom in the world, I feel my writing can’t possibly do her justice.  My strengths lie in talking about poo and making fart jokes and though I’m sure she’s had a lot of experience with poo and farts after having six kids, she deserves much better, so this is a very daunting task. My mom has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met.  If someone is sick, she is there to help them.  If anyone needs...

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My Life Will Be Different From My Mother’s...

May 6, 2011 by

My Life Will Be Different From My Mother’s

During the 20th century, it was a common goal of determined females: That our lives would be different from that of our mother’s. I was hell-bent to take the road less traveled for females from ethnic blue-collar families when I packed my trunk and took the train from Jersey City, New Jersey to Seton Hill College, Greensburg, Pennsylvania.  It was 1963, before the women’s movement, so none of us at that all women’s Catholic college articulated what we were after.  But, you bet we were after not being our mother’s daughters. In the new book Art And Madness, Anne Riophe records the same fierce conviction.  In 1962, she recounts, “I lived near her [mother], the economics ruled. But I would have a different life from hers, I told myself.” That different life turned out not...

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Notes from a Deliberate Non-Mom...

May 6, 2011 by

Notes from a Deliberate Non-Mom

I’ve never been a mom. Even though I had the kind of mother every kid hopes for – one who was always there when I came home from school, who baked the best cookies in the neighborhood, who patiently listened to my teenage tales of angst and romance, and who taught me things I’d never learn in school like how to make my own clothes and tend a garden – I just never saw myself in that nurturing kind of role. This was apparent from an early age when I’d be “playing dolls” with my friends. While they were busy with their “babies”, feeding them, changing their diapers, dressing and undressing them in various outfits and taking them for walks in their carriages, mine would always be sleeping until my imaginary husband came home...

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