I Want Annette Bening’s Hair (She can keep Warren Beatty)

Femme Fatale!

Mar 16, 2011 by

And I’ve tried…and tried…and tried.  I’ve finally had the startling epiphany (after attempt #48 or so) that I’ll never have her hair – because I don’t have her head (including that gorgeous 53-year-old happy kitten face). Well, duh, Mary.

How often have even the most independent, self-confident of us tried to look like or be something we’re not?  Let’s pause here for a second in not-so-loving memory of the ubiquitous “Rachels” back in the day…’K. moving on. I didn’t have the ‘do. I thought it was quite sufficient for Jennifer Anniston to run around in the thing (followed by herd of hairdressers to keep the coif)…and she was recently quoted that it was “the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen.”

Then there’s the depressing I’m supposed to look/be/do _____________. I’m convinced that this “supposed to” is one of the main reasons for so many unhappy marriages.  Both men and women are still buying into the whole nuclear family, “til death do us part” thing…which made sense when we died at 30 and women were generally dependent on men for economic survival. Now, not so much. We femmes are pretty far up the Maslow hierarchy of needs these days, all on our own.  Yeppers, been buying my own food for a while now…and my Mom is now moving into her 81st year (alone) so I anticipate doing so for some time to come.

So, here we are – bombarded every day, in pretty much every way, with what others think we should be…rather we’re 50+ single women or happily married young Moms, actresses or business owners, gay or hetereo. Unfortunately, trying to be that “should” can involve great unhappiness and performing unnatural (to you) acts. If you hate sales, for example, maybe you shouldn’t try to sell…Ditto public speaking…parenthood…and anything else that makes you want to crawl under the bed with a gallon of vodka at the very thought of doing.

It’s one thing to get out of your comfort zone and try new things – it’s the only way we learn and improve. It’s quite another to stay in situations where you’re deeply unhappy from the first.  We all fail.  It’s human.  But, if you’re not doing stupid things, you’ll never get smart. The key is learning when to accept failure, learn from it, and move on.

So, I’ll keep cutting my hair in that wacky, messy shape, but I’m giving up on the Bening look…Really. Honest. Have moved on. Wellll, maybe if I just snipped there instead of here…😉

P.s. After years of paying mondo bucks for the wacky, messy ‘do, I started cutting my own hair…with my nail scissors.  Hey! I can grab chunks and whack away too! Got tons of compliments…ever so pleased with myself. Then I read an interview with someone remembering Greta Garbo in her retirement years.  “It was so sad.  I saw her on the street and it looked as if she cut her own hair with nail scissors.”

I went out that day and got professional snippers.  There’s self-confidence and then there’s self-delusion.

Note to girlfriends: If the ‘do crosses the line between fun and crackhead Barbie, lemme know.

About the Author

Mary Schmidt Has Written 26 Articles For Us!

Mary is a proud Corporate America refugee, having long ago decided that quality of life is far more important than quantity of stuff. However, that said, she thinks money is a very good thing - when used as a tool, not a success measurement. In addition to writing for us, she blogs about business development and marketing at www.maryschmidt.com and about marketing to and by women at www.lipsticking.com. In her consulting business, her clients have ranged from mega-corps such as Hewlett-Packard to local Mom & Pops.
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  1. I totally resonate to the hair issue! My hair-hero was Farah Fawcett…..and my hair, of course, was perfecly straight. After years of perms and peroxide, I finally decided to let my hair do what it wanted…..which coincided with the time I started deciding to do what I wanted in other areas of my life, rather than what I thought everyone else thought I should do. That’s real power. – SerenaK

  2. Mary – Impressed how brave you are to cut your own hair; which by the way looks fabulous! My bad hair cut days began as a little girl. Having long, think curly hair might sound cool to some people but the salons my mom took me to had not a clue what to do with it. Traumatized for life is the name of that tune. I am totally convinced that if I had had a flat iron my life would be completely different!

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