Single (For Girlfriends) Usually Means Self-Supporting: The Implications

Feb 12, 2011 by

Since I have always been single, I have no idea what the financial pressures are in the married state.  What I do know is that being self-supporting from my early 20s has meant I have pushed myself to learn how the world of work operated.  I didn’t seek to change it, either from within or externally through movements.

The lessons learned aren’t pretty.  However, once I accepted the first premise that human beings, not carefully created systems, operate the workplace, I could live with the realities.  After all, humans have their shadow side, what Christians call “original sin” and Shakespeare called “cankered in the grain.”

That shadow side demands that whoever has the power exerts the power.  No workplace is a democracy.  It’s up to us to figure out the rules and if we can live with them.  As a single neighbor put it, Comply or quit. There’s more.  The rules can change or even be inherently unstable. Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional households can live with that.

Another reality I have come to embrace is that, yes the money counts a lot, but my satisfaction with the work counts more.  Maybe that’s my own shadow side.  The nature of the work has to be about me.  Although the names on the organizations aren’t mine, I take full ownership of what I do.  Therefore, if the pleasure derived is minimal I start on the hunt for what might be.

This ability to read the workplace – and ourselves – could account for the startling success among us single women.  The children piece, I have a hunch, isn’t that much of a significant variable.  The self-supporting one likely has more of an impact.  Many single women with children have succeeded as much as we women without children.

About the Author

Jane Genova Has Written 24 Articles For Us!

I’m a coach, book author, and lecturer on careers, specializing in transitions. When I was 58, I restarted my professional life. That was in 2003. Since then I have I have muted into one of those renaissance folks who keeps multiple lines of work going. My latest book Over-50: How We Keep Working has helped thousands of people realize that exciting careers don’t depend on your age. I write four blogs: Jane Genova, Law and More, Career Transitions, Over-50.
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