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Starting Over, Over and Over - All The Single Girlfriends

Starting Over, Over and Over

Never Becoming Comfortable Again

Feb 11, 2011 by

"Starting Over"The shock for me – and now for more and more of us – was that I was older, yet I had to start over again.  In 2003, my communications boutique had collapsed.  My personal life hadn’t been too hot either. [My free e-book GeezerGuts].  African-American bestselling author and Yoruba priestess Iyanla Vanzant puts this way in her new book Peace from Broken Pieces.

You need to start over when you “trip over the fallacies and fantasies that you have created or inherited. You slip on your dysfunctional puzzle pieces and your distorted sense of self.”

It took longer than I expected but I did get on the other side of all that.  By trial and error I discovered that my talent and the market were right for social media.  Finally I found out who I was.  The free spirit expatriate from the slums of Jersey City, New Jersey fits better in a working class neighborhood in New Haven, Connecticut than I did in upper middle class Fairfield County, Connecticut.

So, all’s well that ends well, I smugly thought.  But in this strange new world of a volatile global economy and just-in-time relationships, the center does not hold, at least not for long.  Shock: Here it is 2011 and I am again starting over.  This time it’s from a position of strength, but still the process is jarring.

Finally, at age 65, I’m developing a reputation as a writer.  In assignments for clients, I have the pick of many and I have raised my prices.  I have found kindred spirits.  To absorb all this and integrate it all into my life, I have to keep starting over – yes, every morning.  If I want to maximize the opportunities breaking open I can’t seek out a tidy little comfort zone and settle in.  When I was putting together a survival plan in 2003, I never anticipated that I was opting for never becoming comfortable again.


About the Author

Jane Genova Has Written 24 Articles For Us!

I’m a coach, book author, and lecturer on careers, specializing in transitions. When I was 58, I restarted my professional life. That was in 2003. Since then I have I have muted into one of those renaissance folks who keeps multiple lines of work going. My latest book Over-50: How We Keep Working has helped thousands of people realize that exciting careers don’t depend on your age. I write four blogs: Jane Genova, Law and More, Career Transitions, Over-50.
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5 Comments

  1. admin

    Jane and Kelley – In another lifetime, when I was a theatre major, an actor friend told me that the security came from the insecurity. It took me many years before I understood what he meant. Some days Max may not get as many treats as others but opportunities I’ve had were different than if I were in a corporate world.

  2. More good news. Next month I start receiving Social Security. I call the SSA the patron saint of late bloomers. Now, with the wolf at the door kept back in the woods, I can become calm about my work. C.S. Lewis has observed that experience is a brutal teacher but we learn, boy, do we learn. What I have learned is that poise, including listening, is the new killer app. I have witnessed less talented but better wired folks get assignments I didn’t. Job number-one for 2011 is to deal with the marketplace from a position of emotional strength.

  3. Hi Jane,

    I enjoyed your bio. Ironically, both you and I had the same final thought…we’ll never be as secure as we once were. And, maybe I did make the best choice for myself, but it wasn’t about choosing security.

    Interesting.

    Kelley

    • Maybe security shouldn’t be an objective any more. The good news is that soon enough you will be as old as I am now and be collecting Social Security which I start next month. That provides something in terms of regular income. As for feeling emotionally safe, I start on that as soon as I wake up in the morning.

  4. Toby and all other single girlfriends, it’s awesome to be part of this venture. Our voice and what we actually say will resonate globally. Baby Boomers in Germany and Generation Y women in China will wait for our new posts the way Americans waiting on the docks for the next installment of Charles Dickens’s writing.

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